A Sorrowful Celebration

Many of us go on and on when something unfair or tragic happens to us or our families, but what about the few that keep their true pains to themselves?  It must take so much courage to not tell everyone that they are facing death and the terror that they're feeling, not to mention the pain.  When my aunt was killed this past March, we had just marked a few hours before the seventh anniversary of my mom's untimely passing.  It usually falls upon me to notify the entire family, and it's always quite an undertaking.  I still discover new family members every time I have to give notice, usually about a loved one's passing.

One person I called I knew since I was a little girl.  She's my aunt, I think.  Unusual that I still don't know if we're cousins or if she's my aunt.  My great-grandparents raised many of their orphaned grandchildren, including my mom.  So the lines were blurred, and they're all now my aunts and uncles.  This particular aunt is not so much older than myself, and I am 38 years old.  She has a son in high school and a son in elementary school.  When I called her to give her the bad news about my mom's little sister's murder, she was sad but also, strangely, detached.  Then she told me that though she wished she could be there for the wake and funeral, she was very sick but would try to go.

She had been sick for years, and I didn't know.  Now that she was about to face chemo, she couldn't hide it anymore.  I caught a glimpse of her at another cousin's baby shower, and she was so thin and frail.  Two weeks ago, yet another cousin posted on the family's Facebook walls that she was planning a surprise family reunion for her.  Our ailing aunt had mentioned she wished she could see the family together again.  You see, the doctors have told them that there's little time left.  She is undergoing chemo yet again.  Hope is always the last to die.  But instead of starting this coming Monday, July 25th, it was moved up to this past Monday, the 18th.

I am glad to have a chance to see her and talk to her again, but I am sad beyond words.  I should be grateful... when my mom died, she'd suffered a burst aneurysm and didn't come out of her coma for 10 days before passing.  It is the only time that we are going to have the opportunity to say to any family personally that we love them before dying.  Since 2004 to now, we have lost at least one family member a year.  In 2008, we lost four.  My maternal grandmother's sister lost her husband and then her 30-year-old daughter within one year of each other.  I hope that my cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews manage to make it a lighthearted gathering.  I hate to stress my aunt or make her more scared than she already must be.

God, what should I say?  What can I ask?  Is there anything I can do to make her forget, at least for a while, that this may be our last gathering with her?  God, take her pain away now, and receive her in your celestial embrace when her time comes.  I humbly pray to You that You grant her and her children and husband a miracle.  I humbly beg this in the name of your beloved Son, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

An Inspiring Experiment

I have finally finished my doily-ghan!  Upon picking it up from the center, though, it has inspired me to make a dress for my baby niece.  The doily-ghan is 54 inches across.  I used Bernat Baby Sport yarn in Pale Blue and Patons Beehive Baby Sport in Vintage Lace.  I finished it at 5 a.m. today!  I was determined to see it finished.  I'm really happy with it.  I don't know whom to give it to, though.  I may just keep it.  I have not kept anything I've made so far.  Have a beautiful day, everyone :)

This last picture is what I think would make a pretty ruffled dress, at least loosely based on this pattern.  I'd invert the hearts and make it a halter dress.

Romantic Pineapples Doily-ghan

Ugh!  I can't find my cameras.  They're probably stilled packed in a box somewhere.  I have my phone, but the video quality isn't the best for videos longer than a minute or two.  I apologize to anyone that may be waiting for help with the soccasins.  If I don't find my cameras soon, I'll just have to buy a proper videocamera.  What a sacrifice.  lol.  I've been meaning to get one anyway.

In the meantime, here's a pic of a doily-ghan I've been working on since February.  I started and stopped a few times for other projects, but I'm committed to it until it's finally finished.  What do you think?

Soccasins -- Again! Yay!

I made a pair of soccasins last year for a nephew.  I have many requests for more, but I haven't worked on altering the pattern for bigger sizes.  I'll just try thicker yarn for now and see what happens.  About the end of February this year, someone sent me an e-mail to ask for help with theirs.  I had posted a picture on www.crochetville.org.  I asked Megan, the designer, for permission to post pics showing the different stages of the soccasin.  She graciously consented.  Then my aunt was taken from us, and all of that went out the window.  I am ready to tackle the picture part.  If only I can find my cameras.  LOL.  I moved and haven't unpacked everything.  My phone will have to do for now.  The other pics in here have been taken with the phone.  I think it may work out.

It's a gorgeous, warm day in Bellflower, CA.  The A/C is on -- I know, I'm a cheater -- and I will get to crochet today.  I'm trying to figure out what colors to use for the new soccasins.  Maybe I'll try something bright this time.

Everyone have a beautiful 4th of July weekend, and stay safe.  Carpe diem!